Happily Whole30!

If you would've told me a year ago that I could go thirty days with no dairy, no gluten, but most of all no sugar...I probably would've laughed at you. I am not a person of moderation or discipline really, and when it comes to food, I have no reservations there for sure. I eat with my emotions, and every single one of them: happy or sad, loving or angry, celebrating or mourning. My love language is food, for myself, and for the ones I love.

So when I started this first Whole30, I even thought it was insane for ME, of all people, to try to do it, but knew I needed to make a change, because I just didn't feel good, both physically and mentally. As I wrote in my last blog, 2017 was a doozy, and while I made some efforts to make my corner of the universe a little more joyful, I also didn't go all in, but I also tried to numb those BIG EMOTIONS more. I tried to avoid them, as I have done much of my life, instead of just feeling them or dealing with them in a healthier way. I was desperate for something to shift in me for both my physical and mental health, and I knew I needed something to click sooner rather than later.

This is why I chose this first off for the change of habit I wanted to make in 2018, and I am so glad that I did. It wasn't a "perfect" Whole30 and I still have more work to do on my Food Freedom Forever (first off, get the book!), but this has been a great learning experience for me. I have learned so many things, found so many unexpected non-scale victories, and created so many little new and positive habits.

So FINALLY here are our results!
Chris -
Lost 15 lbs. More self-confidence to not snack or reward with sweets. Tightened belt two notches and fit into his suit from our wedding! Traveled and stayed Whole30 compliant (HUGE!). More energy and less depressed about weight/size.

Kiley -
Lost 12 lbs. and 6 inches. Back to pre-Walt weight. Sleeping better, and clearer skin. Better self-efficacy to not snack or overeat. Less brain-fog/afternoon slump. Clothes fit better...some size 14s are actually loose! More motivation and energy.

Whole30 is not a "diet".
This is definitely not a "diet"; this is a reset meant to for a lifestyle change (insert my own eyeball here). I really didn't like to hear that phrase before Whole30, because I didn't want to do the hard work and I didn't want to say goodbye to all my "good friends" in food, for even one day. But it DID change my relationship with food. You see, food is not my "friend", but it is nourishment for my body, and I cannot give it more emotional power than that. I don't know how many days/what percentage/what my plan is for going forward from here, but I know that I cannot blindly and numbly eat without both physical and emotional consequences any longer. This is a HUGE paradigm shift for me, and though I'm not 100% there, I now know I have the strength to do it.

I have to meal plan/plan ahead for the week.
As a natural born planner, you'd think I love this. But I actually haven't been very good at it. Especially for breakfast and lunch. So I'd end up eating something sugary with a cup of coffee, and have brain fog for the rest of the day. BUT NOW (and something I know I'll continue to do), is plan the week's meals out, and take the time to prepare more healthy meals for EVERY meal.

Reflecting on each day before bed.
The power of reflection and the ability to find daily support through "Whole30 Day-by-Day" has been the make or break for me. Thinking at the end of each day or what went well, what didn't, and a plan for the next day was so good, and I especially loved writing out the NSVs each day too. I am excited and hopeful that I will continue this practice, instead of mindlessly scrolling through facebook.

I've learned how to read labels.
It's actually a little terrifying to now know how to read labels and menu nutrition. Most of all, EVERYTHING has sugar, in some form or another, and many hidden behind strange names. I remember reading pretty early on that food production companies add these to increase the flavor, which then further dulls our taste buds, which then requires more flavor (often artificial). When you know better, you do better. So I hope I will!

I don't have to eat all of anything.
Butternut squash soup? If I don't like it, don't eat it. Leftover cinnamon sugar toast from the kid's plates (why would they leave that anyway?!?)? Feels weird and feels wasteful, but it doesn't have to go in my mouth. I do have to eat for nourishment, so through this I've learned that even if I don't love my meal, I'll finish the parts that I do enjoy, and move on. I couldn't (and strangely didn't) go searching for something more to satisfy myself, because you know what? It wasn't hunger, it was JUST a craving.

I don't need a snack.
Well sometimes I did as a nursing Momma chasing two kiddos around, and I had a healthy choice always available. BUT a lot of the time, I was just bored, or needed to numb some emotion with eating something. I have said no to more cravings this month than I have probably done in the last 10 years. But I don't "deserve" to feel bad (guilt, bloat, brain-fog, or whatever else) by eating food that is not good for me. I deserve to feel happy and healthy.

I've learned how delicious food can taste.
Less than a week ago, I was honestly losing my mind thinking this whole thing wasn't working. I was cranky and wanted some chocolate, and the meals for the day were not my favorite, PLUS there was all the clean up too. But the last couple of days, it finally felt like it started to fully click...I didn't have nut butter or coconut on my fruit, I had a simple olive oil and vinegar on a salad, I made roasted veggies in the oven at the right temperature, and cooked meat properly, with just salt and pepper...and here's the thing: IT WAS ALL SO DELICIOUS! No sauces, special spices, or sugar, and it was good. I found myself "craving" pure and simple foods and I thought "who am I?"

I must ask myself "Is it worth it?"
From what I've read, the biggest mantra after a Whole30 reset is "Is it worth it?", and I found myself asking this question multiple times daily during our Whole30. It was never worth it, I learned, to throw away all the hard work for a goldfish cracker, a taste of cookie dough, or a sip of soda. And I learned that before I did this at least 20x a day...imagine how much that added up? So now as I move into the days of food reintroduction, and after, I've learned I cannot be "numb" and just eat, but stop, think, and be intentional about what I eat. This might be an easy practice for some, but it has not been for me, and I know it will be a challenging new habit but that I must do it.

Most importantly, I've learned that I can do hard things.
Self-efficacy is the biggest lesson I have learned through these hard 30 days. I have been met with all the emotions that would typically make me reach for a candy bar or a baked good, but I didn't use that  to comfort me, because long-term it won't either. The biggest part of this has been the mental challenge, and I described it to a friend as "ripping the band-aid off a sore that still needs time to heal". Sounds fun, right? But really, that wound is there, whether I recognize it or not, so I'd better just face it. So much of my relationship with food has been emotional, and I am not "cured", but it has helped me take the first steps towards getting better. If I can do this hard thing, successfully even (!), what else can I do? There's so many things I've wanted to do and try and be, that I was too afraid to fail that I've had a hard time even starting. So here I go!

Lastly, there's more work to do.
I've said this already, but I must emphasize this. One Whole30 will not be the infinite change for me, but it was the beginning. I know both of these things, but I am willing and able to continue the work that needs to be done until I can find a balance that works for me and my life. I am not a better person or a person more worthy of anything more than I was on day one. I am not defined by what is on my plate, and I am not a "bad" or "good" person if I eat less-healthy food or more healthy food.

This is just the beginning of the blessings 2018 will hold. I am confident in that, and I am Whole30!