Wonderful World with Walt

Dear Sweet Baby Boy Walt,

Hello! This is your Momma. I've been wanting to write a note to you like this since you were born, but you've kept me busy with diapers, feeding, snuggles, and smiles, and I'm perfectly fine with that. You certainly have changed our worlds, little man, and I am so glad to finally know you. Though our road together so far hasn't been easy, I've loved you all along the way.

Your Daddy came up with your name, "Walt", a few weeks before we knew you were a boy, and though I wasn't sure at first, I quickly fell in love with it. We love Walt Disney and the wonderful legacy he has left in this world of wonder, magic, adventure, and pursuing big dreams, and we knew this name would be a good fit for our son. We expanded it to Walter, to give you some options (haha), but also because it is a family name of mine with two of my great grandpas and great uncle sharing your name. And of course, we chose Christian because it was my maiden name, as well as after your Dadda. We knew with such a big man name, we had to make a big man room too, so that is where your adventure nursery came to be. Globes, planes, maps, Disney, adventure books, and family heirlooms had to be what your room would be all about. And we had THREE showers of love from friends and family that helped give us all we needed for you!

Well as we were preparing for your arrival, I was still feeling really great. But then my blood pressure started to get higher, so the last 6 weeks or so we had to take it easy. You were going to be induced on March 7th, but after an appointment where my blood pressure was 170/108, they moved our induction date to March 3rd, at 37 1/2 weeks. We expected and hoped your birth to be a little less eventful than your sister's, but instead you had to make an exciting entrance anyways. Your arrival was much different than we expected, because when I was about to have my water broken, they realized you were footling breech: your little legs stiff and straight down into my pelvis and your head snug under my ribs. We thought you were head down and were going to stay that way, but you certainly changed your mind, and I think it was God's way of looking after us both. Though I was heartbroken to learn the doctor couldn't turn you and we had to have a c-section, I know now it was for the better. 

So on March 3rd at 1:52 pm, you came into this world foot first, literally. Your little foot popped right out as soon as they opened me up, and you came out with big cries and it seemed everything was going to be just fine. Dadda got to hold you and take your picture with Momma, and we snuggled to our recovery room for about an hour. But then the nurses began to notice your labored breathing and blueish hands and feet. You were very calm and somewhat lethargic, and we began to worry that something wasn't right. Soon they took you to the nursery to monitor you, and exhausted Momma and Dadda had many visitors waiting to meet you. Honestly, I was in a some discomfort and was still pretty upset about having to have a c-section, so I wasn't in the best of shape for those visitors, and soon after they left, both Dad and I fell asleep.

Our first family picture with you! 

After we realized something wasn't right, and we laid you in your bassinet. Shortly after this picture, they took you to the nursery and then to the NICU. We had no idea what was to come when Dadda took this picture, but it reminded us of a picture of Ellie just after her first bath...both of you with your big, beautiful eyes, studying us and making us fall in love with you more. 

We were woken up shortly though by a doctor we had not yet met and our night nurses, explaining that you were in the NICU with a neumo-thorax, or a hole in your lung. It's hard to remember exactly what they told us first, but they said it had probably happened at birth when you cried, that there was a tube in your chest, and that we would be able to see you but not hold you, and they thought it would be at least a week before we could. We were just shocked at that moment, and it was unclear to us what would happen in the long run, and if you were going to be okay, so we hugged and cried and hugged and cried. We then went to see you, where you were hooked up to several tubes and monitors, and it was so scary to see you that way. It was the end to the most difficult day of our lives...a day that was meant to be filled with joy in meeting you.

The first time we saw you in the NICU. We were a mess.

The next day, we were still in shock from the toughest day we've ever had, but also hopeful in knowing you were where you were supposed to be, and that the nurses and doctors were there to help you get better and stronger. It's hard to remember the details of each time we came to see you, but each time that we did, there was always good news: that you were healing and getting better. It made those things I so took for granted that much more special. Getting to change your diaper, help with a feeding, hold your hand, and eventually hold you, and lastly nurse the day before you came home were little sparks of joy that we missed out on that first day. It was strange to leave you in the NICU and go back to our room, baby-less, but also gave your Daddy and I the time to rest, heal, and be together to work through some tough stuff emotionally. And with each visitor that got to visit you with us, our pride beamed to show you off! You were so handsome and strong. And furry too! Every little detail of you was still beautiful to us and we had the chance to notice them and savor our time together even more. When we finally got to "room-in" with you the night before you could leave, it was so bittersweet: we were thankful to have a bit of normalcy in our hospital stay, and an end to the scariest week of our lives, but we were also nervous about what was next. We were also in awe that we had made it through and that we all were going to be just fine. What a relief to be on the other side of it all when we came home finally too!

The NICU nurses explained why we shouldn't touch you too much, so you could rest, but it was so hard to resist.

Your "station"

Each time we saw you, there was progress and you were growing stronger.
We felt hopeful and knew you were just where you needed to be.

You can see the joy in our face...we could finally touch you and help feed you!

My first time to hold you besides right after you were born...Ohhh you were SO SWEET!

Daddy holding his boy. 

Big sister visiting you in the NICU. 

She loved you immediately too!

Finally unhooked from all the IVs and ready to room-in! This was your first outfit to wear too.

We got in our room with our baby...YOU!
So thankful to have a little bit of normal hospital experience.

Our view...finally!

Getting ready to go home! 

At last, after a week away from our house...We were home as a family of 4!

Now that I can look back on your birth and the days that followed, and know everything then happened for a reason. I might not understand the full extent as to why we had to have a c-section, but I am pretty sure it was God's hand protecting us from what might have happened to both of us otherwise. And look at you now! Over two months old and growing like a weed. You've just began to smile, and your eyes light up to see us. You are a joy to our family and we are so grateful to have you. So thank you for making me a momma to a boy, something I never knew I needed so much. I'm sorry if I don't write as often or as much to you on here, but you better know it's probably because you're keeping me busy, and I guess you could say I'd much rather prefer that. I love you so much beautiful boy!

Love, 

Your Grateful Momma