To My Nenaw Re

Though I just posted last night, and this blog is not entitled with any "v" word, I felt the need to write, to pay tribute to my dear, sweet Grandma Re. Today marks the 5th Anniversary of her arrival in Heaven, but there are still so many of us here that love and miss her. She certainly makes Heaven a much sweeter place. She was such a warm and caring person, who gave so much to others on a daily basis. As a stay-at-home-mom, her job didn't look too important to many, just like many other 1940s/50s housewives, but she invested her life in people. Not in things or wealth or travels, but PEOPLE. She loved life, and definitely lived each day to the fullest. Her faith ran deep, and she led many to Christ, as well as continued to pray for many who did not find their way while she was still alive. For her 85 birthday, my Mom put together a scrapbook of letters written by all different people that she had touched through her life. I was in college, and busy, and selfish, and never wrote her that letter. A part of me still feels guilty about not telling her, but I had a dream once, where she was hugging me while I was crying, and she was saying, "It's okay, Kiley. I love you. It's okay." That helped with the guilt, but sometimes it still lingers. So this is my message to her that I never fully told her in real life, but I know she knows now:

My Sweet Grandma Re,

You have been one of the biggest influences in my life, and you have molded me into the woman I am today. You were such a beautiful person, inside and out. I love your giving spirit, and I try to emulate the heart that you had each day. You touched so many people's lives; you led so many to the Cross. I loved spending time with you and seeing your sweet smile, delighting in the simple things, whether it be ringing the bell at midnight in 2000, shoe shopping, having lunch with you daughters or granddaughters, or being with family at the holidays. Your life continues to reach others and I still feel like I learn from you as I grow older. The things I enjoy doing most, I believe you did too. I love New York City, ballroom dancing, the fall, root beer, the color green, baking/cooking for others, and making my house a home. The best compliment anyone could every give me is that I remind them of you. Your life was everything but ordinary, and you were the one who made it incredible. I love you very much, Grandma Re, and I miss you each day. I look forward to spending eternity with you in Heaven, and my hope is that I touch half as many people in my life that you did in your 86 years. You are treasure that we miss on Earth, but I rest in the peace knowing that I will see you again soon.

With all my love,
Your granddaughter
Kiley

When she dies 5 years ago, it was turning point for me, where I realized I was not becoming the person I wanted to be or was proud of, and in that year, I learned a lot about who I was and who I wanted to be, while remembering who Nenaw was and why so many people loved her and paid tribute to her in her death. Each day, I miss her in different ways, and often find myself asking "Wouldn't she like to see this? Or do this? Or cook this? Or talk to this sweet person?". When I step on her rug by my kitchen, use her gold clutch for a special occasion, that still has a Kleenex and a butterscotch candy in it, listen to Christmas records on her record player, or make a cake and use her old cake stand, I think of her. She used to be overwhelmed with the belief in the good of people sometimes that she would say, "Oh, just think of all the wonderful people in the world I will never get to meet! Isn't that sad?". What a simple purity she had, and now she is getting to meet many of those wonderful people she wanted to in Heaven.  I miss her dearly, but strive to be like her in my life. She was an amazing Grandma, and there will never be one like her again! I love you Nenaw Re!