For the Love of Change

2017 was a year for the books. And I don't mean that in a good way. As I posted with this picture above, seeing these images made me feel a punch to the gut, so hard that it brought tears to my eyes. I am typically pretty positive, and looking for the good in each day/month/year...but this year the hard and painful was just so LOUD. There were so so so many joys and they are not erased at all, but 2017 was hard, for me, for my family, and I know for so many of you. To capture it quickly, to in essence "just rip the bandaid off", it felt like the "bad guys" kept winning, it felt like the "good guys" kept getting knocked down again every time they bravely stood up, and it felt like every time I looked forward to something joyful, that joy was stolen. I've never done a word for a year before, but last year it was supposed to be "joy", but it felt a lot more like "pain". And that pain has left me mad, and a person I do not enjoy being. So it's time to do something different in this year.

First off, can we just all claim all of January as the month to regroup, reorganize, re-find your brain, and reclaim normal life? It's always been a weird month for me, but I didn't want 2018 to be a year of "anger", so I started this year with a big fight against it becoming that, and am looking to handle things differently this year than I did last.

So as my second year to ever have a "word", I am claiming this year's word "love". More love for my family, my friends, my neighbors, and most of all, more love for myself. My whole life, this has been a "too selfish" notion for me, but this year I'm changing that belief for myself. Where 2017 created a tired, sad, overwhelmed, angry me, I want 2018 to create a loving and joyful me again. I want more of the things I love in my life, and less of the things I don't love. More writing, reading, walks, quality time with my children, wholesome and nourishing food, learning new skills, savoring each day, and living intentionally. Less busy-ness, comparing myself to others, mindlessly scrolling through my newsfeed, allowing joy to be stolen by a person or circumstance, and less numbing my emotions with food. This means I'll probably have to say no more than I have in the past, which I am not usually comfortable doing, but I am going to have to do it, especially if doing that thing means a "no" to me or my family. Only "hell yes" for 2018.

I want to be healthier, both physically and mentally, so each month this year (and for everyday for that month), I am going to try to makes changes in my life by creating a new habit that allows more time for things I love, and/or stop an old habit that makes me love myself or an aspect of my life less. In January (and the first week here of February), we chose to complete (almost...Day 24!) our first Whole30. Food has been a source of comfort for me, and a way to celebrate, and I have relied too heavily on trying to fill my emotional needs through eating. It has been interesting, challenging, and pretty tough at times, but I am so glad we did it. I hope to share more with you in the next week or so about this first month of new habits, and what parts I hope to continue.

For February, I'm installing the app "Moment". It helps track phone usage, even specifics as to which apps you use most, and offers some "classes" to help break bad habits. This year, I've also used my phone as a way to distract myself from hard emotions. And then when I scroll through my newsfeeds, I end up feeling even worse, both physically and mentally. I'm looking forward to learning through this process as well, and sharing with you about my experience. ***EDIT: I did install the app, but as I phase into regular life from a challenging month with Whole30, I am going to focus on spending less time on my phone throughout the day, and specifically during #kileysselfcare. I often put caring for me and taking a break last, and that makes for one crazy Momma all too often. So my focus for February is self care which rarely (if ever) includes my phone. :) And I'm going to learn more about my phone use habits, and think of ways to change them little by little, and new habit by new habit.

I know there is beauty there and more that I have yet to see from that painful and hard 2017. I'm determined to make this year better and end with a better outlook, and now I'm already feeling more hopeful about 2018. Thank you for showing up to read what's been on my heart.

Ellie-Girl Goes to School

I've managed to procrastinate writing this until 11:30 pm the night before my first baby's very first day of school. I've had the luxury to feel unaffected by the first day of school for these last four years, but now that season of freedom is coming to an end. And though I've been avoiding my feelings on the subject for the past week, it is all I can do to keep the tears from rolling down my face tonight. It's the end of a beautifully sweet, simple, and sometimes tough era, that am swapping for a new chapter that feels like the beginning of the end. What if she cries at school? What if her teachers don't take the time to find out why and help her come up with a solution? What if she falls down on the playground or has an accident? What if there is an emergency...will she know what to do and will she be safe? Will she make new friends easily or will kids be mean to her? I sound fun to be around right now, huh? Pray for Chris.

It feels like the beginning of the end of the season I yearned to be in for most of my life, and it's the beginning of my beautifully sensitive girl going into a world that I cannot protect her from. She is so much like me, both in good and bad ways, and my sensitive heart can remember those first feelings of disappointment, frustration, embarrassment, and anxiousness...all feelings she has yet to really feel without my guidance and reassurance. It will be the first time that other people's "voices" will have an effect on her, instead of just ours. I wish I could keep her from all the bad things and mean people, and keep her as an innocent, bright-eyed beauty who sees the good in others and couldn't imagine hurting someone else on purpose. She doesn't have any big worries or fears, but is just happy with simple things and feels safe in her little universe. But soon she'll know much more about the crazy world we live in, and and though I know she'll be brave and kind and smart...I still wish I could protect her from all those things and continue to just let her be little. I am afraid to blink because I know the years are REALLY going to fly by now.

I do know this is the beginning of a really exciting time though too, as she makes her own friends, learns from her teachers, and creates a life outside of our family. She's going to love school and learning, and she will become increasingly more of herself, outside of who I am. She'll have her relationships, experiences, and memories, and she will make us so proud with the choices she makes.



Here's a little message to you, Ellie-girl:

Happy first day of Pre-K gorgeous girl! You are going to have so much fun today and I can't wait to hear all about it. You are going to love school, but I sure will miss you. I worry that I haven't cherished this time with you enough, or maybe I could have been more patient, or maybe I should've taken you to the library more or had a more concrete schedule, but also know that I did my very best. I hope it was enough and I hope that you have many good memories from our early adventures together. I am so grateful to be your Momma, and so grateful to have more time with you this year, as I plan to savor it and soak it up as much as I can. You are the sweetest, kindest, silliest, most beautiful girl I know. You are going to soar in school...you'll be a kind friend, a fantastic listener, a hard-worker, and a hilarious little lady. I am going to miss our slow mornings together each day, but I'll treasure our lunches and afternoons even more. I'll always be here for you, whenever you need me. I hope the world sees you for the amazing and incredible and wonderful person you are, and when it doesn't, I hope your own voice is loud enough to remember you are. I love you more than you'll ever know.

Thanks for the adventure, sweet Eloise Marie...

now go have a new one. 

Gal's Gathering

A friend is like a ray of sunshine

Making a brighter day

That fills our life with a light so bright

All the clouds are driven away.

A friend is like beautiful music

That lingers in our heart

And when a lovely melody is heard

The ills of life depart.

A friend is like a refreshing breeze

Making sure we feel at ease

Bringing happiness into our life

Always sharing our pain and strife.

A friend I hold close to my heart

Even when we are miles apart

I pray and thank God everyday

For a friend He sent my way.

I came across this little poem when looking for quotes on friendship, and it reminded me so much of my Grandma Re, my Mom's mom, who had a big heart for people and a great love for her friends. The night she went Home, she was copying a poem on friendship after a first date with her "special friend", though now I can't seem to find the one she was actually writing. I think back now on that night, and initially it was somewhat tragic for her to go just as she was getting to enjoy her life and her friends, but now it seems very fitting and something even more I learn from my sweet Grandma Re. Her life was a legacy of connections and loving on people, and simply being a good friend, and my own sweet Momma's life is one of the same. I've always seen and believed in the importance of friendship because of these special ladies, and have found that one of the best investments in life are people. Taking time to care for people you love and who love you is never a waste of time and always worth any small "inconvenience", and I am grateful and lucky to have many wonderful people in my life to call my friends who share this belief with me.

And the very best of friends make you feel normal and understood, even when you're not exactly the same, as well as refreshed and rejuvenated. This is just how I feel after spending time with one of my dearest and oldest friends of 20+ years, Joellen. We took a day for a much needed Girl Time at White Water yesterday with, get this, NO CHILDREN. (Thanks to understanding and unselfish Grandmas that loved on our kiddos for us, and husbands who always encourage us to take the time to ourselves.) I was feeling a little unsure as this week began, since it is extra work to get that free time, sometimes an inconvenience, and often nothing gets done on the to do list while we take a break, but I also knew time with a good friend is so important to my mental well-being. Joellen and I have been through a lot together: junior high, high school college, early married life, and becoming Mommas. We've worked through disagreements, supported one another in the challenges of motherhood, spoken words of truth that are sometimes hard to hear, celebrated life's victories, and encouraged one another in hard times. Our kiddos are more like siblings than just friends and we try to have a night out here or there that sometimes includes exercise, but always includes good food and good conversations. But today's conversations surrounded on important things like Disney t-shirts, kids starting school, Disney rides, what food we wanted to eat next, Disney souvenirs, and of course, our new book, Jen Hatmaker's "Of Mess and Moxie". While there was much Disney talk (since she is going her FIRST time in ONE MONTH. You know I'm going to live vicariously through that trip), we also talked a lot about our love of Jen. You could now call us her fangirls for more reasons than one, but each reason just as important as the next. She has spoken to each of hearts these past years, and specifically these past 6 months, and we couldn't wait to have her as part of our long-time planned girls day poolside. 

We've been following along through the past two years or more, through many big events in our lives and in the ever-changing world, and time-and-time again, Jen's words have resonated with me. Her post on social media seem to come just at the time I need to hear them, and I know God is using her to speak to many others who feel lost in their emotions, alone in their thoughts, or just simply like weirdos. Her book, "For the Love", was one of the few I have actually finished since becoming a mom, and something I wished I would've read long ago. She is hilariously self-depricating, incredibly honest, kindly challenging, and positively reaffirming. For a long time to me, a "good Christian" fit in one box, liked and cared for the same things, believed all the same exact things, and all lived the same way, all the while feeling like I've never fit inside that box...never good enough and never would be good enough. But Jen Hatmaker has brought me back into a space I don't think I've ever been in my life: where I know now God made me how I am and that I am good enough because of His love. I know better now that all I have to do is keep trying, and that He will meet me there and use all my seemingly selfish and frivolous parts for the good. Her words are encouraging, relatable,  reassuring, and often a challenge for more humility and gratefulness. Jen Hatmaker reminds me to simply "Love God. Love People", and they leave me refreshed and rejuvenated, like a day with a good friend.

While anticipating her new book these past few months, I've continued to follow her and her words continue to uplift me. I was able to listen to her speak in January, a month I could describe as one of my darkest in the past few years, where so much fear, anxiety, and worry had taken over me. And her talk was about fear and that it does not come from Him. I don't think that was any small coincidence, but God saying "I see you. I hear your pain but you are not alone." It was a beautiful night with good girlfriends I won't soon forget, and I left feeling hopeful after a really tough season for myself and my family. 

Social media can be so beautiful if used how she has done too...to create a community of women laughing and sharing stories together, and virtually hugging in scary and sad times. She speaks so much about the value of women in the church and in the world unlike any other, and specifically the value of girlfriend in the lives of women. Her new podcast, "For the Love", is beginning with a series dedicated to Girlfriends, and each episode makes me laugh and brings me to tears. And each one brings me back to an idea that I think is finally time to start...

This little dream of mine, a "Gal's Gathering", is something I've continued to put on the back-burner, but now know I need more than ever. It's inspired by my love of the amazing women and friendships in my life, inspired by the hilarity, honesty, and encouragement of Jen Hatmaker, and inspired by a something I've always loved to do. I've longed for a way to connect more to those girlfriends I have in my life, and on her first podcast, Jen Hatmaker and Shauna Neiquiest spoke of the ministry of hosting and serving a meal, both things I'd consider some of my passions and now see is a gift/talent too. I had to pause during that first podcast to hold back tears, as I realized that God sees my heart, my talents, and my dreams, and recognizes those things as valuable because they are important to me. He wants to use my strengths to help others, and he wants to do that for each of us, no matter what that looks like. 

So my idea and my hope is that I can help create a community of women caring and loving each other despite our weaknesses, strengths, or differences in life/religious/political beliefs. It takes nods at book clubs, Bible studies, and dinner parties, but is not just one of those things, but all of them. I want to help create a monthly supper club of delicious food and drinks, with a side of reading a book here an there, a dash of some wonderful "For the Love of Girlfriends" podcasts, and a house full of wonderful women I admire. If you've read this far, you're a real trooper and really must love me, so I hope you can join. I'm grateful for your friendships and I've looked up to each of you in some way. I hope I can be a better friend, a better person, and that I can serve you with these monthly meals, and I so appreciate you reading! 

Goodbye 1947 Cottage

How do you put into words the love you have for your first home: the place where our married life began and brought our babies home, the place where we've worked so hard to create a home, and the place where we've celebrated so many wonderful things in our life and the life of those we love? I'm not sure how, but I am certainly going to try.

If you know me, you know I love old houses. I can't pinpoint just one reason, but instead there are many, and have just always been drawn to old things and places. I love the stories they could tell and the history they represent. I love them because many wonderful childhood memories were in my family's old houses, both at my Dad's in the summertime and at my Grandma Re's that we visited multiple times a year. Both of my childhood homes here in Oklahoma have been destroyed by tornadoes and a fire, so while for some this would allow them to let go of "stuff", it has made me cling to it and cherish it even more, especially family heirlooms. I have even included "vintage" in my blog's name I love old so much! So an older home, with original features, was always what I had hoped and dreamed to live in someday.

Even though we knew we wanted an older home, falling in love with this house came as a surprise to us, after looking for a couple years unsuccessfully, and then finally deciding to rent first. We rented from Judi Hadley, knowing she knew all about old houses in Norman, so we hoped she could help us find our first home. Soon after we contacted her, she told us about an upcoming listing of a home we had never seen or noticed in our many drives around Norman, but were familiar with the street. We were excited to see it, and though when we pulled up it looked like it needed a little work, we were still excited. We walked in and saw the fireplace, the original wooden floors, the built-ins, the old phone shelf, and the backyard, and knew we wanted to make it ours. We met the sellers, two professors at OU, and though our contract was a bit unconventional, we were so excited for this cute little cottage to call our own!

We hoped/planned on doing some work before we moved in, and enlisted our loved ones to help. They painted and moved and painted and cleaned and painted some more. It was exciting and overwhelming, but the task felt much less daunting with the support of our friends and family. And we are and were so grateful for them! That first summer we lived here seemed so stressful, but really it was where we began to learn and grow and become a really great "Team Valentas". We worked on projects in each room, and looked forward to the spring to get started on the outside. Our ideas and vision transformed into a reality, and it was amazing to see all that hardwork pay off.

We then began to grow our family by getting a sweet little girl golden retriever that we named Lucy, like we'd planned. Good thing we got a dog before having a baby because it was tricky but definitely worth it!

I love to host and when we bought the house, the previous owners told us how great a place it was to have company and dinner parties! So that's exactly what we did. We continued our weekly dinners with our closest group of friends...

We celebrated proposals, engagements, weddings, and babies...

We celebrated birthdays, movie nights, and everyday dinners...

And took about a million pictures from this vantage point! But with each one, I took a moment to pause and realize how lucky we were and are.

This house didn't come with it's own challenges, big projects, and expenses though. But I think it only made us a better team, and more proud homeowners. We had storms that damaged our plants and unexpected house repairs, but we knew that we loved this house and in the end it has always been worth it.

When we bought the house, we already had the nursery picked out. I began dreaming and searching for ideas on Pinterest for both baby girl and baby boy ideas, and both nurseries had ideas imagined long ago. Our vision came to life in both rooms before Ellie and Walt's arrivals, and it was so fun to create such special places for our babies. We've spent many hours in each room, rocking sleepy babies,  changing countless diapers, playing on the floor, and just enjoying the space. Each room is special in it's own sense, but our children's rooms have been extra meaningful for us, as they are filled well wishes from loved ones, dreams for Ellie and Walt's future, and many many memories.

The living room is definitely our most used room, and is our "family space". The walls are covered in pictures from our families, and memories of our own Valentas Family adventures. It has been carefully decorated and organized, and there is room for everyone here...adults, kiddos, babies, and pets. Our huge front window is one of my favorite things in this room, as it seems it was created just for babies and pets to look out, and a perfect spot to frame a big Christmas tree. And I've loved the mantle and the fireplace from the first time we saw the house. We've decorated it for each season, and made many fires to keep us cozy when it's cold. We've played, danced, watched movies, eaten breakfast, snuggled, and opened for birthdays, Christmas, and other celebrations here. We've laughed and cried in this room, and it has been such a wonderful place to us.

The dining room has been a space where many loved ones have gathered around the table for dinner around the table, buffet style parties, showers, birthdays, and Fall Festivals. The shelves in the built-in buffets have held many of our most cherished items, from our wedding glasses and my bouquet, to colorful Fiestaware, and from seasonal decorations to serving dishes we use both in our everyday and for special gatherings. We've displayed our favorite postcards, birthday cards, and Christmas cards, and has our best moments of each year in pictures printed from Instagram. It's a colorful but comfortable room, and I love the memories we share from simple family meals here too, with silly videos of both babies in the highchair.

My little kitchen has been the room that the most people have asked if I was going to update it. Originally, I had pondered it, but after we painted and found a home for everything, I just couldn't imagine tearing out the original cabinets, oven, and other sweet detail in this space. We have cooked countless meals in there of course, as well as many many sweet treats for friends and family. I've felt transported to 1947 the most in this room, and thought often about my Grandma Re in this space. I've channeled my inner 1950s housewife, in all the good ways, and have so loved adapting to the room, rather than making the room adapt to my preferences. I hope the new owners love this little cozy kitchen as much as I have.

Though the bathrooms are seem to be just that, I can think of all of the little moments we've shared as a family. It's where we've found out we were pregnant with both babies, where we've given them baths, and the where are bedtime routine begins. Silly songs and faces in the mirrors and messy hands washed clean have been here.

There are many nooks and crannies to this house that have made me love it too. It's said that old houses don't have great storage, but this house certainly does. Thankfully, the closets are big and we sure do have a lot of things stashed in them, whether it's in our room, the hall closets, the coat closet, or the back closet. All spaces that have allowed us to live fully in this home. I've also loved our hallway since we first saw it, mostly because of the old phone shelf and the built-in linen cabinet. I also strangely enough love our garage and laundry room. It's a little rough and a little unconventional for an old house because it's actually connected to the house, but I love the stories it could tell. Handmade shelving and drawers created by former owners each for their own purposes still intrigues me. And Chris just refinished the laundry room...spackle, paint, shelving, and a new light fixture...and I have a space that makes me happy when I am doing a not so favorite task.

In college, I wrote out "life goals", and one of them was a garden/yard with something always growing or blooming. With lots and lots of hardwork, mistakes, and learning, we've finally accomplished a goal I had only dreamt of. I have loved cultivating our front flowerbeds, and finding which plants work best where, and some of my favorites are lantana, sweet potato vine, begonias, elephant ears, coleus, or course fall's best, mums. I've enjoyed creating pretty pots and planters for the porch, and then adding pumpkins later on. And the large magnolia tree has been a picturesque view out the front window too. We've made a brick pathway, found from leftovers bricks, which has made the walk to the backyard that much more welcoming. And our backyard...ohhhhh how I love it our backyard! Even in it's original jungley-pebble-pathed state, we saw the beautiful patio and firepit, as well as the potential for a place to entertain friends and family, and eventually a place for our children to play, and it kind of sealed the deal for us. It has been a lot of work over these past eight years, and it seems odd to be leaving now that we have just completed the biggest projects. All the flowerbeds are landscaped with hostas, wandering jenny, canna lilies, and daffodils. Chris created a safe and fun area for the kiddos with a new edged and mulched playset, as well as a chalkboard. Even our little shed looks like a cozy spot to hang out. And then there's the magic in those lights strung over the patio, into the yard, and along the fence with the word that we've called this place for so long, "HOME". It has stopped me in my tracks time and time again this spring, and I pause to think beautifully special this yard has become.

We have enjoyed our home and backyard this year more than we ever have before, and took every opportunity to play and eat and swing and invite others to join us. This little house has partied like never before these past 8 weeks, and I think it knows how much love we have for it, as well as the love our friends and family have shared here with us. The moments big and small, special and ordinary, rewarding and challenging...they all make up the memories we have created here in our very first Valentas Family Dream Home. It has been a dream come true to live here and an honor to carry on it's history. We will miss it oh so dearly, but know our next adventure awaits and this little 1947 cottage is ready to become a home to a new family who needs it and will love it as much as we have.

You will always hold a special place in our hearts, 926 W. Eufaula. Thank you for the memories, thank you for keeping us warm and safe, and thanking for being the place where there has been so much laughter and love. Thank you for the adventure... Now go have a new one!

Hello 1930 Farmhouse!

One of the reasons I loved Norman when starting at OU was the tree-lined streets and old homes. I've walked, jogged, and driven these streets for almost 15 years now, and always dreamed about what it would be like to live in one of these historic homes. After we got married and made Norman our hometown as we looked to purchase our first home, we drove up and down the streets even more frequently, searching for the perfect place. We started by renting an older house from a historic home-loving Normanite, Judi Hadley, who we then asked to help us find our first dream home. And so she did just that: she helped us find a little 1947 cottage, hidden by a "rough around the edges" facade, but with lots of potential and lots of love. So we took this frame of mind after having Ellie, realizing we would never be able to afford a pristine and perfect home close to campus, so we branched out to other areas and neighborhoods with just as beautiful homes and features. 

And then we found our dream home: a 1930 craftsman farmhouse, soon after Ellie was born, on one of our many drives around campus and it's nearby neighborhoods. We'd probably driven by it many times, but hadn't really seen it, and the more research we did on the home, the more we loved it. It didn't stand out immediately, but we knew we would love to make it ours someday, so we began to call it our dream home, driving by at least every other week. We loved the architecture, the porch, the large lot, and all of the beautiful trees. We knew that as our family expanded, our little cottage would soon be at max capacity, and though it was hard to imagine ever leaving it, we told each other that if this dream home ever became available, we would try to get it. 

With simple plans to love on our first dream home over the summer, with all the big projects finally accomplished, I saw on Facebook that our dream home would be having an estate sale, and that the family would be selling the home in the near future. My heart sank and I immediately felt ill. I showed it to Chris, with tears in my eyes and panic in my mind. "There's no way we could make this work", I thought to myself, as I didn't feel we were ready financially or emotionally. But I made plans to go the estate sale first thing Saturday morning, especially after seeing the pictures of the home on the estate sale website. Of course, I focused on the home itself, but had my eye on a few items I knew I would cherish too. I also contacted Judi to see if she knew any information about the upcoming sale of the home, and she said she would look into it.

So many treasures to be found, but the biggest one was the home itself!

I decided to go by myself, in hopes that I wouldn't cry, but as I pulled up and saw how busy it was and my mind began racing even more, tears already beginning to well up in my eyes. I couldn't stop thinking that there would be no way for us to afford it and that there would be a ton of others wanting this house too. I walked into the house, my heart beating out of my chest, and caught a familiar scent of both of my grandmothers’ houses, and I had to fight the tears back. I was in awe of the beauty inside, though I realized it would need some work, and as I went from room to room, I heard others saying the things I was thinking. I found the vintage Minnie and Mickeys I had seen, and searched for the "God Bless Our Home" sign, but disappointingly, it was already gone. 

I went upstairs and ran into one of my former students, who asked how I was, and of course, it let the flood gate of emotions and tears come out. I explained how much I loved the home, but thought we couldn't make it work. She said that her dad knew the owner's son, and that they did plan to put the house on the market soon, but that she thought her dad could give me his contact information. I was unsure but hopeful that I might be able to at least contact the owners. I meandered around more, taking in the details of every room, and also ran into Judi inside. I told her how much I loved it, though she said she had not found out anything yet. We chatted more, as I waited for my former student’s dad, which I also then saw a couple ladies seemingly contemplating that sign I had my eye on. Feeling bold, I asked them if they were going to purchase that sign, and they said they would definitely let me know. Though it was cold, I went to hang out on the porch, and then got to meet my former student’s dad. He told me more about the home, and that it was the original farm house to the 160-acre area, and that fact alone hooked me even more. He gave me the contact info for the current owner’s son, explaining it had been owned and lived in by his mom for the past 50+ years. I fell in love with it more, and when the gal with the sign came out to tell me I could purchase the sign, I immediately got tears in my eyes once again. Before we each parted ways, I thanked Judi, my former student’s dad, and the gal who sold me the sign, and walked to my car half a block down with tears streaming, thinking that this dream was just too big and that I needed to just let it go.

I got home, and told Chris all about it, and feeling silly for being so emotional about it, but still having those big feelings. We both looked at each other and said that it was just too much for us right now, emotionally and financially, so we were going to try to let it go, but would cherish the sign I was able to get in whatever home we were in.

But I still had the owner’s son’s number, and that little piece of fate I just couldn’t waste. So I gave that number a call. He asnswered and I introduced myself, telling him how much I loved the house, especially after visiting it for the estate sale. I asked him to wait to sell the house, but he explained the need to sell to help support his mom, but also asked what items I had found at the sale. We chatted a bit more, and I told him that I hoped something magical could happen where we could buy it and thanked him for his time. I had hoped to find a sense of relief after our conversation, and while on one hand I did, on the other hand I couldn’t stop thinking about the house, and knew any other scenario of someone else owning it would be hard to swallow. We visited it again on Sunday with our little family, and Chris could see what I saw: beautiful original characteristics and potential that we were afraid someone would come in and ruin it.

So I began to pray for a clear sign that if this house wasn’t supposed to be ours, that there would be a clear breaking point and that we could let the dream go. But it that I began to also let go of our cottage a little, realizing we already were at max capacity. I came up with several hair-brained ideas on how to get the house, but none of them made sense and would add too much unneeded stress and strain to the situation. On Monday night, after a long weekend of pondering and praying, Chris finally said to me, “If you want to get that house, the only way we could possibly do it is to sell ours.” A peace about it washed over me immediately and I knew that would be the only way we could it. But I also immediately started crying about giving up our home…one with our best memories.

So we made plans to try to get our dream house: we called our parents, I emailed Judi, and Chris went to the bank Tuesday morning. Once we found out we were approved, Judi came over, we filled out the needed paperwork, and a sign was in our yard that night. I called the owner’s son to give him the news, and he said he would let us know when we could come see it again after they cleaned up from the estate sale. The next three nights were filled with showings at our house, that brought in several offers, and we met again with Judi just one week since we’d first seen the house to choose an offer. We were under contract, and just waiting to see our dream house.

We couldn’t wait to finally see the house in it's entirety, and as soon as the owner's son let us know it was available, we were elated and asked to see it that night. He toured us around the home, he told us many stories about his own memories as well as this history. One of the first things he showed us was this article from the Norman Transcript, that was written when his parents bought it.

He told us about it being built in 1930, and that it really was the original farmhouse to a 160-acre pig farm. (Van's Pig stand also opened then....perhaps they owe us some money?!? Haha...) The land was originally purchased in 1892 for $200 per acre. It has had only three owners: The Schultze Family, The Chaudoin Family, and then his family who bought it in 1961, including his mom, Mary E. Sudduth, who has lived in it for the last 57 years. He even shared a story with us from his childhood newspaper route, where an older lady asked where he lived. He told her about his house, and she told him that her father had built it, and that he had gone to the lumberyard and had picked out every plank to build it himself. Even before we knew all of these details, we knew it had to be special because of the craftsmanship throughout the home, and in the original woodwork, light fixtures, and door knobs. 

It was incredible to hear it's history, and know it had been so well cared for. We put in our offer that night, and the following afternoon Greg called us to let us know that offer was accepted. He told us his mom was thrilled to hear that a family would be living there, and he congratulated us on getting our dream house! We then planned to meet him there that evening to see the house again, and to exchange paperwork. We got to the 1930 farmhouse early, and we were not-so-successfully trying to take a selfie of us and the house when he arrived. As he got out, we shook hands and thanked him, with tears in our eyes, but we could also see he had tears in his eyes. He explained why in that where we were taking our first picture with the house, his siblings had all gathered to take their last picture with the house. He said he it was a sign it was meant to be, and we agreed. 

 So we went in with new eyes…knowing this time the house would soon be ours. As we finished up for the evening, I told him what Ellie had said when she found out. She has exclaimed, "We won the big house!”, but his response was, “Well the house won too!". He gave us that newspaper article that I cannot wait to frame and hang with our "God Bless Our Home" sign by the front door.

With every change, happiness can always be found, though there can also be some drawbacks, some disappointments, and some bittersweet moments. I knew I'd be willing to give up my other plans and dreams for this home in a second, but maybe I don't have to give it all up. Maybe this is a lesson of trusting God's timing, His purpose, His plan, and letting go of the worries I've always carried around. A lesson of finding joy everyday, no matter how chaotic the rest of my life seems, and always always being grateful. And we are so grateful. What a beautiful beginning to our story at our dream house, while cherishing the days left in our first dream home.