Gal's Gathering

A friend is like a ray of sunshine

Making a brighter day

That fills our life with a light so bright

All the clouds are driven away.

A friend is like beautiful music

That lingers in our heart

And when a lovely melody is heard

The ills of life depart.

A friend is like a refreshing breeze

Making sure we feel at ease

Bringing happiness into our life

Always sharing our pain and strife.

A friend I hold close to my heart

Even when we are miles apart

I pray and thank God everyday

For a friend He sent my way.

I came across this little poem when looking for quotes on friendship, and it reminded me so much of my Grandma Re, my Mom's mom, who had a big heart for people and a great love for her friends. The night she went Home, she was copying a poem on friendship after a first date with her "special friend", though now I can't seem to find the one she was actually writing. I think back now on that night, and initially it was somewhat tragic for her to go just as she was getting to enjoy her life and her friends, but now it seems very fitting and something even more I learn from my sweet Grandma Re. Her life was a legacy of connections and loving on people, and simply being a good friend, and my own sweet Momma's life is one of the same. I've always seen and believed in the importance of friendship because of these special ladies, and have found that one of the best investments in life are people. Taking time to care for people you love and who love you is never a waste of time and always worth any small "inconvenience", and I am grateful and lucky to have many wonderful people in my life to call my friends who share this belief with me.

And the very best of friends make you feel normal and understood, even when you're not exactly the same, as well as refreshed and rejuvenated. This is just how I feel after spending time with one of my dearest and oldest friends of 20+ years, Joellen. We took a day for a much needed Girl Time at White Water yesterday with, get this, NO CHILDREN. (Thanks to understanding and unselfish Grandmas that loved on our kiddos for us, and husbands who always encourage us to take the time to ourselves.) I was feeling a little unsure as this week began, since it is extra work to get that free time, sometimes an inconvenience, and often nothing gets done on the to do list while we take a break, but I also knew time with a good friend is so important to my mental well-being. Joellen and I have been through a lot together: junior high, high school college, early married life, and becoming Mommas. We've worked through disagreements, supported one another in the challenges of motherhood, spoken words of truth that are sometimes hard to hear, celebrated life's victories, and encouraged one another in hard times. Our kiddos are more like siblings than just friends and we try to have a night out here or there that sometimes includes exercise, but always includes good food and good conversations. But today's conversations surrounded on important things like Disney t-shirts, kids starting school, Disney rides, what food we wanted to eat next, Disney souvenirs, and of course, our new book, Jen Hatmaker's "Of Mess and Moxie". While there was much Disney talk (since she is going her FIRST time in ONE MONTH. You know I'm going to live vicariously through that trip), we also talked a lot about our love of Jen. You could now call us her fangirls for more reasons than one, but each reason just as important as the next. She has spoken to each of hearts these past years, and specifically these past 6 months, and we couldn't wait to have her as part of our long-time planned girls day poolside. 

We've been following along through the past two years or more, through many big events in our lives and in the ever-changing world, and time-and-time again, Jen's words have resonated with me. Her post on social media seem to come just at the time I need to hear them, and I know God is using her to speak to many others who feel lost in their emotions, alone in their thoughts, or just simply like weirdos. Her book, "For the Love", was one of the few I have actually finished since becoming a mom, and something I wished I would've read long ago. She is hilariously self-depricating, incredibly honest, kindly challenging, and positively reaffirming. For a long time to me, a "good Christian" fit in one box, liked and cared for the same things, believed all the same exact things, and all lived the same way, all the while feeling like I've never fit inside that box...never good enough and never would be good enough. But Jen Hatmaker has brought me back into a space I don't think I've ever been in my life: where I know now God made me how I am and that I am good enough because of His love. I know better now that all I have to do is keep trying, and that He will meet me there and use all my seemingly selfish and frivolous parts for the good. Her words are encouraging, relatable,  reassuring, and often a challenge for more humility and gratefulness. Jen Hatmaker reminds me to simply "Love God. Love People", and they leave me refreshed and rejuvenated, like a day with a good friend.

While anticipating her new book these past few months, I've continued to follow her and her words continue to uplift me. I was able to listen to her speak in January, a month I could describe as one of my darkest in the past few years, where so much fear, anxiety, and worry had taken over me. And her talk was about fear and that it does not come from Him. I don't think that was any small coincidence, but God saying "I see you. I hear your pain but you are not alone." It was a beautiful night with good girlfriends I won't soon forget, and I left feeling hopeful after a really tough season for myself and my family. 

Social media can be so beautiful if used how she has done too...to create a community of women laughing and sharing stories together, and virtually hugging in scary and sad times. She speaks so much about the value of women in the church and in the world unlike any other, and specifically the value of girlfriend in the lives of women. Her new podcast, "For the Love", is beginning with a series dedicated to Girlfriends, and each episode makes me laugh and brings me to tears. And each one brings me back to an idea that I think is finally time to start...

This little dream of mine, a "Gal's Gathering", is something I've continued to put on the back-burner, but now know I need more than ever. It's inspired by my love of the amazing women and friendships in my life, inspired by the hilarity, honesty, and encouragement of Jen Hatmaker, and inspired by a something I've always loved to do. I've longed for a way to connect more to those girlfriends I have in my life, and on her first podcast, Jen Hatmaker and Shauna Neiquiest spoke of the ministry of hosting and serving a meal, both things I'd consider some of my passions and now see is a gift/talent too. I had to pause during that first podcast to hold back tears, as I realized that God sees my heart, my talents, and my dreams, and recognizes those things as valuable because they are important to me. He wants to use my strengths to help others, and he wants to do that for each of us, no matter what that looks like. 

So my idea and my hope is that I can help create a community of women caring and loving each other despite our weaknesses, strengths, or differences in life/religious/political beliefs. It takes nods at book clubs, Bible studies, and dinner parties, but is not just one of those things, but all of them. I want to help create a monthly supper club of delicious food and drinks, with a side of reading a book here an there, a dash of some wonderful "For the Love of Girlfriends" podcasts, and a house full of wonderful women I admire. If you've read this far, you're a real trooper and really must love me, so I hope you can join. I'm grateful for your friendships and I've looked up to each of you in some way. I hope I can be a better friend, a better person, and that I can serve you with these monthly meals, and I so appreciate you reading! 

Goodbye 1947 Cottage

How do you put into words the love you have for your first home: the place where our married life began and brought our babies home, the place where we've worked so hard to create a home, and the place where we've celebrated so many wonderful things in our life and the life of those we love? I'm not sure how, but I am certainly going to try.

If you know me, you know I love old houses. I can't pinpoint just one reason, but instead there are many, and have just always been drawn to old things and places. I love the stories they could tell and the history they represent. I love them because many wonderful childhood memories were in my family's old houses, both at my Dad's in the summertime and at my Grandma Re's that we visited multiple times a year. Both of my childhood homes here in Oklahoma have been destroyed by tornadoes and a fire, so while for some this would allow them to let go of "stuff", it has made me cling to it and cherish it even more, especially family heirlooms. I have even included "vintage" in my blog's name I love old so much! So an older home, with original features, was always what I had hoped and dreamed to live in someday.

Even though we knew we wanted an older home, falling in love with this house came as a surprise to us, after looking for a couple years unsuccessfully, and then finally deciding to rent first. We rented from Judi Hadley, knowing she knew all about old houses in Norman, so we hoped she could help us find our first home. Soon after we contacted her, she told us about an upcoming listing of a home we had never seen or noticed in our many drives around Norman, but were familiar with the street. We were excited to see it, and though when we pulled up it looked like it needed a little work, we were still excited. We walked in and saw the fireplace, the original wooden floors, the built-ins, the old phone shelf, and the backyard, and knew we wanted to make it ours. We met the sellers, two professors at OU, and though our contract was a bit unconventional, we were so excited for this cute little cottage to call our own!

We hoped/planned on doing some work before we moved in, and enlisted our loved ones to help. They painted and moved and painted and cleaned and painted some more. It was exciting and overwhelming, but the task felt much less daunting with the support of our friends and family. And we are and were so grateful for them! That first summer we lived here seemed so stressful, but really it was where we began to learn and grow and become a really great "Team Valentas". We worked on projects in each room, and looked forward to the spring to get started on the outside. Our ideas and vision transformed into a reality, and it was amazing to see all that hardwork pay off.

We then began to grow our family by getting a sweet little girl golden retriever that we named Lucy, like we'd planned. Good thing we got a dog before having a baby because it was tricky but definitely worth it!

I love to host and when we bought the house, the previous owners told us how great a place it was to have company and dinner parties! So that's exactly what we did. We continued our weekly dinners with our closest group of friends...

We celebrated proposals, engagements, weddings, and babies...

We celebrated birthdays, movie nights, and everyday dinners...

And took about a million pictures from this vantage point! But with each one, I took a moment to pause and realize how lucky we were and are.

This house didn't come with it's own challenges, big projects, and expenses though. But I think it only made us a better team, and more proud homeowners. We had storms that damaged our plants and unexpected house repairs, but we knew that we loved this house and in the end it has always been worth it.

When we bought the house, we already had the nursery picked out. I began dreaming and searching for ideas on Pinterest for both baby girl and baby boy ideas, and both nurseries had ideas imagined long ago. Our vision came to life in both rooms before Ellie and Walt's arrivals, and it was so fun to create such special places for our babies. We've spent many hours in each room, rocking sleepy babies,  changing countless diapers, playing on the floor, and just enjoying the space. Each room is special in it's own sense, but our children's rooms have been extra meaningful for us, as they are filled well wishes from loved ones, dreams for Ellie and Walt's future, and many many memories.

The living room is definitely our most used room, and is our "family space". The walls are covered in pictures from our families, and memories of our own Valentas Family adventures. It has been carefully decorated and organized, and there is room for everyone here...adults, kiddos, babies, and pets. Our huge front window is one of my favorite things in this room, as it seems it was created just for babies and pets to look out, and a perfect spot to frame a big Christmas tree. And I've loved the mantle and the fireplace from the first time we saw the house. We've decorated it for each season, and made many fires to keep us cozy when it's cold. We've played, danced, watched movies, eaten breakfast, snuggled, and opened for birthdays, Christmas, and other celebrations here. We've laughed and cried in this room, and it has been such a wonderful place to us.

The dining room has been a space where many loved ones have gathered around the table for dinner around the table, buffet style parties, showers, birthdays, and Fall Festivals. The shelves in the built-in buffets have held many of our most cherished items, from our wedding glasses and my bouquet, to colorful Fiestaware, and from seasonal decorations to serving dishes we use both in our everyday and for special gatherings. We've displayed our favorite postcards, birthday cards, and Christmas cards, and has our best moments of each year in pictures printed from Instagram. It's a colorful but comfortable room, and I love the memories we share from simple family meals here too, with silly videos of both babies in the highchair.

My little kitchen has been the room that the most people have asked if I was going to update it. Originally, I had pondered it, but after we painted and found a home for everything, I just couldn't imagine tearing out the original cabinets, oven, and other sweet detail in this space. We have cooked countless meals in there of course, as well as many many sweet treats for friends and family. I've felt transported to 1947 the most in this room, and thought often about my Grandma Re in this space. I've channeled my inner 1950s housewife, in all the good ways, and have so loved adapting to the room, rather than making the room adapt to my preferences. I hope the new owners love this little cozy kitchen as much as I have.

Though the bathrooms are seem to be just that, I can think of all of the little moments we've shared as a family. It's where we've found out we were pregnant with both babies, where we've given them baths, and the where are bedtime routine begins. Silly songs and faces in the mirrors and messy hands washed clean have been here.

There are many nooks and crannies to this house that have made me love it too. It's said that old houses don't have great storage, but this house certainly does. Thankfully, the closets are big and we sure do have a lot of things stashed in them, whether it's in our room, the hall closets, the coat closet, or the back closet. All spaces that have allowed us to live fully in this home. I've also loved our hallway since we first saw it, mostly because of the old phone shelf and the built-in linen cabinet. I also strangely enough love our garage and laundry room. It's a little rough and a little unconventional for an old house because it's actually connected to the house, but I love the stories it could tell. Handmade shelving and drawers created by former owners each for their own purposes still intrigues me. And Chris just refinished the laundry room...spackle, paint, shelving, and a new light fixture...and I have a space that makes me happy when I am doing a not so favorite task.

In college, I wrote out "life goals", and one of them was a garden/yard with something always growing or blooming. With lots and lots of hardwork, mistakes, and learning, we've finally accomplished a goal I had only dreamt of. I have loved cultivating our front flowerbeds, and finding which plants work best where, and some of my favorites are lantana, sweet potato vine, begonias, elephant ears, coleus, or course fall's best, mums. I've enjoyed creating pretty pots and planters for the porch, and then adding pumpkins later on. And the large magnolia tree has been a picturesque view out the front window too. We've made a brick pathway, found from leftovers bricks, which has made the walk to the backyard that much more welcoming. And our backyard...ohhhhh how I love it our backyard! Even in it's original jungley-pebble-pathed state, we saw the beautiful patio and firepit, as well as the potential for a place to entertain friends and family, and eventually a place for our children to play, and it kind of sealed the deal for us. It has been a lot of work over these past eight years, and it seems odd to be leaving now that we have just completed the biggest projects. All the flowerbeds are landscaped with hostas, wandering jenny, canna lilies, and daffodils. Chris created a safe and fun area for the kiddos with a new edged and mulched playset, as well as a chalkboard. Even our little shed looks like a cozy spot to hang out. And then there's the magic in those lights strung over the patio, into the yard, and along the fence with the word that we've called this place for so long, "HOME". It has stopped me in my tracks time and time again this spring, and I pause to think beautifully special this yard has become.

We have enjoyed our home and backyard this year more than we ever have before, and took every opportunity to play and eat and swing and invite others to join us. This little house has partied like never before these past 8 weeks, and I think it knows how much love we have for it, as well as the love our friends and family have shared here with us. The moments big and small, special and ordinary, rewarding and challenging...they all make up the memories we have created here in our very first Valentas Family Dream Home. It has been a dream come true to live here and an honor to carry on it's history. We will miss it oh so dearly, but know our next adventure awaits and this little 1947 cottage is ready to become a home to a new family who needs it and will love it as much as we have.

You will always hold a special place in our hearts, 926 W. Eufaula. Thank you for the memories, thank you for keeping us warm and safe, and thanking for being the place where there has been so much laughter and love. Thank you for the adventure... Now go have a new one!

Hello 1930 Farmhouse!

One of the reasons I loved Norman when starting at OU was the tree-lined streets and old homes. I've walked, jogged, and driven these streets for almost 15 years now, and always dreamed about what it would be like to live in one of these historic homes. After we got married and made Norman our hometown as we looked to purchase our first home, we drove up and down the streets even more frequently, searching for the perfect place. We started by renting an older house from a historic home-loving Normanite, Judi Hadley, who we then asked to help us find our first dream home. And so she did just that: she helped us find a little 1947 cottage, hidden by a "rough around the edges" facade, but with lots of potential and lots of love. So we took this frame of mind after having Ellie, realizing we would never be able to afford a pristine and perfect home close to campus, so we branched out to other areas and neighborhoods with just as beautiful homes and features. 

And then we found our dream home: a 1930 craftsman farmhouse, soon after Ellie was born, on one of our many drives around campus and it's nearby neighborhoods. We'd probably driven by it many times, but hadn't really seen it, and the more research we did on the home, the more we loved it. It didn't stand out immediately, but we knew we would love to make it ours someday, so we began to call it our dream home, driving by at least every other week. We loved the architecture, the porch, the large lot, and all of the beautiful trees. We knew that as our family expanded, our little cottage would soon be at max capacity, and though it was hard to imagine ever leaving it, we told each other that if this dream home ever became available, we would try to get it. 

With simple plans to love on our first dream home over the summer, with all the big projects finally accomplished, I saw on Facebook that our dream home would be having an estate sale, and that the family would be selling the home in the near future. My heart sank and I immediately felt ill. I showed it to Chris, with tears in my eyes and panic in my mind. "There's no way we could make this work", I thought to myself, as I didn't feel we were ready financially or emotionally. But I made plans to go the estate sale first thing Saturday morning, especially after seeing the pictures of the home on the estate sale website. Of course, I focused on the home itself, but had my eye on a few items I knew I would cherish too. I also contacted Judi to see if she knew any information about the upcoming sale of the home, and she said she would look into it.

So many treasures to be found, but the biggest one was the home itself!

I decided to go by myself, in hopes that I wouldn't cry, but as I pulled up and saw how busy it was and my mind began racing even more, tears already beginning to well up in my eyes. I couldn't stop thinking that there would be no way for us to afford it and that there would be a ton of others wanting this house too. I walked into the house, my heart beating out of my chest, and caught a familiar scent of both of my grandmothers’ houses, and I had to fight the tears back. I was in awe of the beauty inside, though I realized it would need some work, and as I went from room to room, I heard others saying the things I was thinking. I found the vintage Minnie and Mickeys I had seen, and searched for the "God Bless Our Home" sign, but disappointingly, it was already gone. 

I went upstairs and ran into one of my former students, who asked how I was, and of course, it let the flood gate of emotions and tears come out. I explained how much I loved the home, but thought we couldn't make it work. She said that her dad knew the owner's son, and that they did plan to put the house on the market soon, but that she thought her dad could give me his contact information. I was unsure but hopeful that I might be able to at least contact the owners. I meandered around more, taking in the details of every room, and also ran into Judi inside. I told her how much I loved it, though she said she had not found out anything yet. We chatted more, as I waited for my former student’s dad, which I also then saw a couple ladies seemingly contemplating that sign I had my eye on. Feeling bold, I asked them if they were going to purchase that sign, and they said they would definitely let me know. Though it was cold, I went to hang out on the porch, and then got to meet my former student’s dad. He told me more about the home, and that it was the original farm house to the 160-acre area, and that fact alone hooked me even more. He gave me the contact info for the current owner’s son, explaining it had been owned and lived in by his mom for the past 50+ years. I fell in love with it more, and when the gal with the sign came out to tell me I could purchase the sign, I immediately got tears in my eyes once again. Before we each parted ways, I thanked Judi, my former student’s dad, and the gal who sold me the sign, and walked to my car half a block down with tears streaming, thinking that this dream was just too big and that I needed to just let it go.

I got home, and told Chris all about it, and feeling silly for being so emotional about it, but still having those big feelings. We both looked at each other and said that it was just too much for us right now, emotionally and financially, so we were going to try to let it go, but would cherish the sign I was able to get in whatever home we were in.

But I still had the owner’s son’s number, and that little piece of fate I just couldn’t waste. So I gave that number a call. He asnswered and I introduced myself, telling him how much I loved the house, especially after visiting it for the estate sale. I asked him to wait to sell the house, but he explained the need to sell to help support his mom, but also asked what items I had found at the sale. We chatted a bit more, and I told him that I hoped something magical could happen where we could buy it and thanked him for his time. I had hoped to find a sense of relief after our conversation, and while on one hand I did, on the other hand I couldn’t stop thinking about the house, and knew any other scenario of someone else owning it would be hard to swallow. We visited it again on Sunday with our little family, and Chris could see what I saw: beautiful original characteristics and potential that we were afraid someone would come in and ruin it.

So I began to pray for a clear sign that if this house wasn’t supposed to be ours, that there would be a clear breaking point and that we could let the dream go. But it that I began to also let go of our cottage a little, realizing we already were at max capacity. I came up with several hair-brained ideas on how to get the house, but none of them made sense and would add too much unneeded stress and strain to the situation. On Monday night, after a long weekend of pondering and praying, Chris finally said to me, “If you want to get that house, the only way we could possibly do it is to sell ours.” A peace about it washed over me immediately and I knew that would be the only way we could it. But I also immediately started crying about giving up our home…one with our best memories.

So we made plans to try to get our dream house: we called our parents, I emailed Judi, and Chris went to the bank Tuesday morning. Once we found out we were approved, Judi came over, we filled out the needed paperwork, and a sign was in our yard that night. I called the owner’s son to give him the news, and he said he would let us know when we could come see it again after they cleaned up from the estate sale. The next three nights were filled with showings at our house, that brought in several offers, and we met again with Judi just one week since we’d first seen the house to choose an offer. We were under contract, and just waiting to see our dream house.

We couldn’t wait to finally see the house in it's entirety, and as soon as the owner's son let us know it was available, we were elated and asked to see it that night. He toured us around the home, he told us many stories about his own memories as well as this history. One of the first things he showed us was this article from the Norman Transcript, that was written when his parents bought it.

He told us about it being built in 1930, and that it really was the original farmhouse to a 160-acre pig farm. (Van's Pig stand also opened then....perhaps they owe us some money?!? Haha...) The land was originally purchased in 1892 for $200 per acre. It has had only three owners: The Schultze Family, The Chaudoin Family, and then his family who bought it in 1961, including his mom, Mary E. Sudduth, who has lived in it for the last 57 years. He even shared a story with us from his childhood newspaper route, where an older lady asked where he lived. He told her about his house, and she told him that her father had built it, and that he had gone to the lumberyard and had picked out every plank to build it himself. Even before we knew all of these details, we knew it had to be special because of the craftsmanship throughout the home, and in the original woodwork, light fixtures, and door knobs. 

It was incredible to hear it's history, and know it had been so well cared for. We put in our offer that night, and the following afternoon Greg called us to let us know that offer was accepted. He told us his mom was thrilled to hear that a family would be living there, and he congratulated us on getting our dream house! We then planned to meet him there that evening to see the house again, and to exchange paperwork. We got to the 1930 farmhouse early, and we were not-so-successfully trying to take a selfie of us and the house when he arrived. As he got out, we shook hands and thanked him, with tears in our eyes, but we could also see he had tears in his eyes. He explained why in that where we were taking our first picture with the house, his siblings had all gathered to take their last picture with the house. He said he it was a sign it was meant to be, and we agreed. 

 So we went in with new eyes…knowing this time the house would soon be ours. As we finished up for the evening, I told him what Ellie had said when she found out. She has exclaimed, "We won the big house!”, but his response was, “Well the house won too!". He gave us that newspaper article that I cannot wait to frame and hang with our "God Bless Our Home" sign by the front door.

With every change, happiness can always be found, though there can also be some drawbacks, some disappointments, and some bittersweet moments. I knew I'd be willing to give up my other plans and dreams for this home in a second, but maybe I don't have to give it all up. Maybe this is a lesson of trusting God's timing, His purpose, His plan, and letting go of the worries I've always carried around. A lesson of finding joy everyday, no matter how chaotic the rest of my life seems, and always always being grateful. And we are so grateful. What a beautiful beginning to our story at our dream house, while cherishing the days left in our first dream home.

What World Do We Live In!?!

I have been struggling to find words to write something for at least a couple months, if not longer. These days I find my heart heavy for reasons that it SEEMS I can do nothing about, but want so badly to do something about it. I am a do-er when problems or conflict arises...what I can do to help? How can I solve this? What is my part/my role in the problem AND the solution?

I've been praying and praying for clarity about how I can help and what my role is...and I think I need to write. I have avoided expressing my concerns, fears, and worries in a public place because I don't want to disappoint people I care about, but hopefully, even if you disagree, you will still try to listen. I've heard you can't change people opinions and views through social media, but mine have immensely...so I hope you can hear me out too. I've been praying with much uncertainty about what to do, but today I think God is telling me it's time to write. To build a bridge with writing.

I will be the first to admit that I have not researched every topic, every issue, every politician, or every policy our country has had...but I'll tell you what my heart has told me:

My heart has always been tender and I've had BIG FEELINGS for my whole life, but because of my experiences as a teacher and now as a mother, they have grown even BIGGER. As a teacher of students with special needs, I witnessed so much heartache of children that were often and quickly misjudged by society based on what they looked like. Their stories were often gutwrenching...full of loss, abuse, abandonment, and sadness. Children who came to school hungry, cared for their siblings each evening, or who's parents were substance abusers and/or mentally ill. Each of their stories were different and complex, and there was never one simple solution, and never was the solution to just "try harder". These are the stories of the people IN OUR COMMUNITY, and this is where my thoughts and beliefs began to change. So much of my life I believed that if you just put your mind to something, you could do anything, but I've learned it's not so simple. As a teacher, I had to take a step back from kids who may acted like jerks, and try to put myself in THEIR shoes. What has happened in their life/what is happening TODAY that has caused them to lash out at me. Being a teacher gave me a skill I never knew I would gain: the ability to understand others better. I had to or else I would take each eye-roll, missed class, or bad name I was called by a teenager too personally and not do my job. And through it all, I found and began to see the inherit good in these children who many came from such little. By the end of each year, I saw more clearly who each student was and why they were they way they were, and I loved them because of it and inspite of it.

But my heart really began to sink about a year ago, when the people of Syria began to flee their country, leaving everything behind and risking their lives for freedom for themselves and their families, many of them small children. Those images of those tiny baby's bodies washed on the shores. The picture of the man hugging his children so tightly while crying with fear. Their stories shared by the blog/social media outlet, Humans of New York, of loss, pain, fear, and also hope. What if that was me and my family??? Hopeless and no where to go, begging for help that many refuse.

And then I began to hear and read the rhetoric used by many, even many I had previously agreed with and supported, saying that we needed to be sure to keep "these people" out of OUR country for OUR safety. It made me sick to think we were allowing and advocating for fear and knee-jerk "logic" to rule our lives rather than love. My heart of hearts tells me that is wrong. To let fear overshadow mercy and grace. When Jesus was asked by his disciples what mattered the most out of all of his lessons and teachings, he said "Love God and love people". And that was it. Nothing more and nothing less. So how can we be a nation of "Christians" that are so unlike Christ?

And now the leader of our country, with strong "family values" and a "strong moral compass", is writing executive orders that benefit himself and others like-minded, but not the rest of humanity. Silencing facts, discrediting marches, appointing unqualified people, calling people degrading names, and now shutting out immigrants. Telling us what to think and believe, and if anyone thinks otherwise they are WRONG and they are the ENEMY. But this is the only thing that is wrong, and our silence will only allow this kind of darkness to win.

I still don't clearly know my role in all of this or what I can do, but I do know that I want to be a bridge in the middle for two sides that are probably not as extreme as we think. But we must sit at the same table together and honestly talk about our different opinions, beliefs, and thoughts, and stop shouting assumptions. The world cannot be so black and white, but instead we can find common ground in the gray area in between. If you're feeling defensive or angry or uncomfortable, I would encourage you to read more to try to understand the others, especially before writing them off and saying they are just wrong. Leave room to listen, and spend less time prejudging one another's beliefs and lumping one another into strong-bordered categories. Though my social media has been mostly pictures of my life and my children, you may now find from time to time elements that may be considered "political". I can no longer go through my days without sharing things that speak to my heart and are reverberated in my BIG FEELINGS, and ways that I am trying to make the world a better place. I hope you continue to follow me and consider what I share, and also find peace in knowing what your role and path is in this crazy world.

Thanks for reading friends. Let's say some extra prayers for one another tonight.

Birthday Bloggin'

Today is my 33rd birthday, and I am one of those annoying adults who insists on having everything "just so" on my birthday, from the the minute I wake up to the minute I go to sleep. Thankfully, I have a husband who is nicer than me and obliges every year. So that is the reason I am actually writing...I'm at one of my very favorite places, Cuppies & Joe, BY MYSELF. I had lots of plans to organize and think, write in my journal for the first time in forever, and get caught up, but I'm having a hard time know where to begin. So instead I am just going to ramble a blog out here instead.

There are always a million thoughts going through my brain, as a momma, a perfectionist, and a busy-body, so now that I have a moment to pause, I'm not sure where to go. Maybe I'll just write about the things I love about myself and my life and the things wish were different, and do a little word-vomiting on those topics. And if you're still reading, thanks for hanging in there.

I prefer to have a positive outlook, so let's start there. I love that I am getting to do my dream job: stay-home with my sweet babies and be my "own boss". I love my amazing husband, who is better to me than I deserve. And I love our home: old and creaky and colorful and comfortable. I love eating good food, usually that I don't have to make myself, and I love being outside when it's not a thousand degrees. I love crafting, baking for others, swinging in my hammock, going on adventures with my family, and finding joy in the mundane. I love documenting my days and creating a home that feels comforting and warm.

But what do I love about myself? That's a hard one and it always has been. Here's what I know but don't necessarily love: I'm sensitive and get my feelings hurt easily. I feel BIG EMOTIONS 90% of the time. I worry incessantly about freak accidents and tragedies, what others think about me, and if I am "good enough" as a mom, wife, and friend. I like to be busy because I never want to miss out but also to prove my "worth". I am a innately a selfish person, and like for things to go as *I* plan, and when it doesn't, you can be assured it will be labeled a "bad day". I'm undisciplined and would be totally fine to sit on the couch everyday, all day.

Okay...this is tough, but I'll try a little self-love here now too. I know I am passionate about people, and I know that is one thing I do love about myself: I love connecting with people. I love people because of the different perspectives and stories, and the lessons to be learned from others. I remember something my Grandma Re said: that sometimes it made her sad to think about all the wonderful people in the world that she'd never get to meet. This is one of my core life values and something I do love about myself. I never want to miss out on an opportunity to make memories or have fun with people I love. I love that I get to do this more by staying-home with my kiddos, and I am so very grateful that I get to do it too.

I wish I would worry less, compare less, and spend more time outside. I wish I didn't splurge all the time in my eating and spending, and I wish I could slooooow down. I wish I was more patient with my children and I wish I took more time to read and write. I wish I was more fit and disciplined. I wish I had the energy, time, and money to do everything I want everyday, but like everyone else, I do not.

Well, I still don't know 100% what the goal of this blog was or what my message is, but this is the most personal and open one I've ever written. I guess what I want to say is that I am far from perfect, but everyday trying to do my best and trying to find joy. I am incredibly grateful for the life I have, even on the tough days. Thanks for reading friends, and I hope you have a beautiful day too.

"These ARE the days..."

I read a post not too long ago, about an experience a momma of littles had while vacationing at the beach with her family. I haven't been with my two, but I can imagine what prepping, planning, and packing that must be done, since just going to the library or park takes an extra half-hour (at least) for me. As they were struggling to leave the beach with all their stuff, with a two-year-old and 4-month-old in tow, she overhears an older man commented to his wife, "Those were the days, weren't they?" She explains, that since that moment, her views on parenting has changed, and reading her words, they've changed me too.

Since I became a mom, it's all a lot more difficult - but also more beautiful - than I ever thought. I've written before that somehow I thought I'd suddenly have it "all together" with a daily schedule and homemade meals. And if you're a parent and reading this, you know that that is just simply laughable. Each and everyday I struggle to find the balance of juggling chores that need to be done, fun time with my beautiful babies, time for myself, and moments to have a few conversations with my sweet husband.

These are the days that are filled with diaper changes, laundry, crumbs in crazy places, and dishes that never seem to all be done. They are full of bargaining with a threenager, comforting a fussy baby, and less sleep than we ever thought we could survive on. These are the days of to do lists that never get done, groceries that always need to be bought, and errands that stack up quicker than we can get to them. These are the days of something always needing to be cleaned, less money and time for ourselves, and a "fuller" midsection. These are the days that can bring out the worst in us, and are all-humbling. But these are also the days of morning snuggles, hugs and kisses from the purest of hearts, and us being our children's heroes. These are the days when the babies will just stare at us in wonder, and our toddlers are experiencing things for the first time with so much incredible joy. Our days will be filled with backyard bubbles, sidewalk chalk, ice cream cones, bath time fun, reading and rereading books, and tea party picnics. These are the days that seem long and short at the same time, and both amazing and frustrating. We will wonder if we're doing anything right, and then our children will say they want to be just like us when they grow up or doing something kind for someone else without being asked. Our hearts will fill with pride and happiness, as well as exhaustion and worry. These are the days friends.

So while most days seem monotonous, and like we're never actually accomplishing anything, they're also days we'll look back on and long for again someday. The same way we wish we could have one more kid free day to savor the moments of simplicity, someday our hearts will ache for the sweet sounds of a baby's voice, the feeling of a squishy toddler in our laps, the smell of sunshine on little sweaty bodies, and seeing a sweet smile just because. A line from Andy, in the last episode of "The Office", is one that will always stick with me: "I wish there was a way to know that you're in the 'good ol' days', before you've left them." We are lucky enough to get that chance, if we can just pause a little each day to remember that THESE ARE THE DAYS!

Ventures with the Valenti: The Wheeler Ferris Wheel

It was a tough week for humans, and a tough week for us with Daddy traveling, so we just needed to get outside and enjoy some time together with our family on a new adventure. The weather was perfect, so we decided to visit the new and upcoming area of OKC, the Wheeler District and their recently opened Wheeler Ferris Wheel! It is even infamous for it's appearances in Forrest Gump, Titanic, and Iron Man. Here is an article from NewsOK about more of what the developers are planning, and it sounds like it is going to be another great addition to our beautiful city!

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What & Where: 
The Wheeler Ferris Wheel is located at 1701 S. Western, just off I-40 and the Oklahoma River. The Oklahoma City skyline is on display as the backdrop, and it is just amazing! Though we didn't get many pictures of the grounds, they are family friend and fun: picnic tables, friendly music, yard games, clean restrooms (with a changing table), shade from the stacked packing containers, and grassy areas to spread out picnic blankets. They have a snack bar with chips, granola bars, and drinks, but also plan to have food trucks regularly! We had a little of each...ordered our main course from one of my favorite food trucks, Buttermilk Southern Sliders, brought a few snacks of our own, and grabbed a cold soda from their snack bar.

Here's a great picture from their Facebook page, that accurately displays the great views!

After we ate, we got our tickets and didn't have to wait but about 5 minutes. The cost is just $6 per person, and ages 0-3 are free. You can also get a day pass for $10 or a season pass for $30. We then took some pictures with the extra large "OKC", that I am sure will become an icon of our city. And finally, we got in line for the Ferris Wheel and waited with much excitement from Ellie, our 3-year-old! The wait was longer than what should usually be expected for us, because they needed to make a quick fix while we were in line. The staff greatly apologized, but we didn't mind with such a beautiful night to enjoy! We shared our gondola with another family of three, but there was still plenty of room to enjoy our ride. Walt, who is 4-months, hung with friends while we rode. Though it is still up to the rider, they do not recommend infants, pregnant women, or individuals with other serious health conditions to ride, just like an other ride at a theme park.

 

 So pretty from every angle!

The ride around last about 10 minutes, and we were able to see far and wide at the top. It was not even a little scary for Ellie, and she really enjoyed it!

When:
Monday-Thursday, 11:00 am - 9:00 pm
Friday & Saturday, 11:00 am - 10:00 pm

Our favorite part: 
The ride on the Ferris Wheel, of course! But really the whole evening was so much fun, and a perfect place to meet up with friends too. And I love seeing people of all ages there, even our city's own mayor, Mick Cornett!

Things we would do differently next time:
Honestly, nothing that I can think of! We arrived about 7:00, as it was cooling off, ate our dinner, got our tickets, took a few pictures by the OKC, and got in line for the Ferris Wheel!

We hope to go again soon with more friends and family, so maybe we'll see you there! Until then, you can keep up with their events by following their Facebook page!