Vacant & Veracious

Well, hello again FINALLY! Geez! It certainly has been quite a few MONTHS since I have written! I guess it is an indicator as to what the past 4 months has brought: some serious snow days, first babies born to our friend group, long long long work days, lots of yardwork with great rewards, many evening 5K jogs, weddings, engagements, Tigerpalooza dancing, tons of IEPs, the Red Bud Classic 5K, OKC Memorial Relay, NHS Prom, house projects that were accomplished, EOIs, serious family medical issues, an almost rapture, Chris traveling, graduation for my first year kiddos, saying goodbye to a good friend and colleague, shopping trip to Kansas City, start of summer school, and a lot of summertime activities already like Summer Breeze concerts, swimming, snocones, grilling out, Farmer's Market, and movies! Whew! Quite a lot happening around here, I guess.

So out of all of that (fun) craziness, I am so thankful for summertime. I titled this blog "Vacant & Veracious" because my hope is that I can be these two things this summer, "unoccupied and free" and "truthful and honest". I get kind of worked up about my "to do" lists, and want to get the items checked off, but also I want to fully enjoy summer with relaxing. Summer to me is two fold: time to get stuff accomplished and time to unwind. So in with keeping my 5 Hopes for 2011 in mind, I have made yet another list some things I'd like to accomplish this summer, some silly and some serious. Here they are:


1. Finish reading Harry Potter, among at least 5 other books.
2. Get healthier with eating and exercise, and be within a healthy BMI.
3. Reorganize and purge my classroom.
4. Paint trim of the house, and maybe a new roof?
5. Find a church "home".
6. Pay off all credit cards... YIKES!
7. Catch up with our photo albums and framing memories.
8. Reorganize and purge our house.
9. Spend time with people I love every week.
10. RELAX!

Maybe I'll write again soon, and update on this list...or write about food...of write about vacations...or whatever comes to mind!

V = 5 Lessons from 2010 and 5 Hopes for 2011

A new year and a new blog! A little later than I had hoped to write my first blog for this year, but oh well! :) In years past, when I've only had my journal to write in, I always reflect on the last year and think about what I want to accomplish in the new year. I always write in my journal at this time of year, as many other people may do, and often make lists of different things, so that is what I will do here. 

I feel like I've learned a lot this year, about myself, about people, and about life in general. But I am also realizing that the older I get the less I really know. Here are five things that have really rang true to me this year:

1. The best investment in life are people. 

Being around those that I love is the best way I can think to my spend time. People are my hobby. After I am done spending time helping people, hanging out with people, or talking with people, I feel so much better about all of my worries. I remember my Grandma Re loving this too, and her saying that she thought it was so sad that she wouldn't be able to meet all of the wonderful people in the world. I've thought about this many times this year, and I now can understand what she was saying. At school, I love that I have lunch and planning together in the middle of the day because it allows me to reconnect with my friends, and especially on challenging days, I find that I really need this support. And my job is exactly this: investing in people. Despite my many days of continuous frustration, I do believe in the end that through my job I AM making a difference in these children's lives. I am very thankful that I am able to be in a occupation that allows me to do this too.

2. Everyone deserves common decencies.

I strongly believe this, no matter how annoying or irritating someone can be, they deserve kindness and someone to try to understand them. The kids I teach often have tough home lives, and therefore may not know how to really talk to others or give and show respect. Again, I feel this is part of my job. I also believe, and something I try to model and practice everyday, is that no matter what is happening in my life, I cannot allow that to effect how I treat others. There have been times this year with people I truly care about who are having hard times, but then they act out their frustrations on those that care about them the most. It's the opposite of what you would expect them to do, but alas, it is what they do. 

3. Take every chance you have to make memories with those that you love and that love you.

No matter what it costs financially or emotionally or logistically, I always try do whatever I can to make memories with those that I love. And thinking back about the past 10 years or so of my life, I am so glad that I have lived by this. I've been able to travel and do many "once in a lifetime" things, and wouldn't have done it any other way. I have had a wonderful life so far, and have had the opportunity to do so much already. I can't wait to see what the next 10 year bring - probably many more adventures! 

4. Taking time for myself makes me a much happier - and nicer - person to be around!

Yep, this is totally true. Though I have much to learn in this area, I feel I have grown in understanding the importance of alone time and doing taking time for me, whether it be sitting on the couch, reading a book, taking a walk/jog, or cooking, it helps me refocus and rejuvenate for what's next.

5. Domestic life = MY DREAM! 

We've lived in our house for about a year and a half now, and I find myself truly enjoying those simple things about life, that may be characterized as "domestic". I love having a garden and working in the yard, cooking dinner and baking, making our house a home, cleaning and organizing, and crafting. Oh how I love crafting! And as I see some of my beautiful friends have babies of their own, it reminds me of how much I've always wanted to be a mom, a stay-at-home-mom. I hope that will come sometime soon for me, but I still have a few "ventures" that I want to partake in first. :)

So though these things might not be life-changing for most, to me these are big things I've learned this year. And I am so glad I did.

Now, here are the things that I hope to try to do better or accomplish in this next year. 

1. Lose weight and get healthier!

I am planning on running a 5K leg in the OKC Memorial Marathon relay in May. I have NEVER EVER been a runner, but I am learning how to enjoy it! In the past year, I have also noticed more and more the foods and activities that make me feel awful, and that I need to stay away from them. I have a certain weight and size in my head that I want to be, but really what's important is that I continue to eat healthier and exercise regularly. And when I do that, I feel so much better about me, and that is really my goal.

2. Become a tougher cookie at school.

My frustrations this year have mostly centered around this; I am a third year teacher but find myself making the same 1st year teacher mistakes. And that is SO totally frustrating to me! I don't enjoy being mean to kids or getting on to them when they're doing something wrong, and I think I'm doing them a favor by "slapping them on the wrist" by giving them "a talking to" and giving them "one more chance", but I realize that I give too many chances, and then they learn they can walk all over me! ARGH! So, I am doing better, but I must continue to use those Super Nanny rules: warning 1st, then follow through with punishment. Let that be my mantra when a student starts to push the limits....

3. Do more things I love!

 I work hard, so I must learn to play hard too...I want to do more things I love, like I did today on a "snow day" - sleep, read, watch Rachel Ray, upload pictures, dinner with friends, grocery shopping, and write this blog. Maybe I should have vacuumed, cleaned, or done work for school, but I did not, I just enjoyed my day. :)

4. Money = pay off debt, save more, spend less

If I want to be a stay-at-home-mom, I really need to do this! So here's to another year of getting rid of all that darn debt! I hope to get a job of some sort this summer, and maybe even get to tutor. We'll see what happens...

5. Spend more time with people I love.

Though I called people my "hobby" earlier, there are still many people I don't see often enough or spend enough time with. So I want to do that more. And continue taking every moment I can to make memories with them.

Well, goodness, that was a lot to say! If you read this whole thing, thank you! Now I'm off to bed! Goodnight dear friends!

    

VOILA!...It's Christmastime!!!

OOOOHHHHH how I LOVE CHRISTMAS!!! Maybe that's part of why I love fall so much too, because it's right before Christmastime. And I love the word "Christmastime" too. Don't ask me why. I just do.

This Christmas is the second in our own home, and we decorated with all the trimmings the weekend after Thanksgiving. We added a few things from last year, but still getting out all the old decorations and ornaments brings back so many memories. I love this old wooden set of ornaments of Pinocchio and Gepetto. I always hang them next to each other too. I also treasure a snowman with a red hat and a purple scarf that my Mom got for my Grandma Re the year before she died. I think she had it hanging on her record player (that now sits beside my Christmas tree) in her apartment. We have beautiful ones from Disney World that we got on our honeymoon and sparkly ones from New York City. These are just a few of the many memories in each Christmas ornament and decoration, and I enjoy reminiscing as I get them out each year. It is so nice to come home and see our house all "a glow" with Christmas-y happiness. I really love this time of year.

I hope this year I can not get overwhelmed with "things to do" and just focus on being with people I love and doing things I enjoy. I am doing pretty good so...I already started making presents and wrapping them, and I am very much looking forward to having almost an entire week out of school BEFORE Christmas comes. It will be a nice little time to do some of our traditions and enjoy them too. Some of my favorite traditions are: giving each other Christmas pj's on Christmas Eve, a new ornament each Christmas day (snowflake for me and a snowman for Chris), a stocking holder that counts down the days, and watching many, many Christmas movies together in the evenings. And these are just a few of them. It's such a beautiful time of the year...I even love going out shopping to see everyone buying gifts for others! This was what I was doing too when I got to sing in the new BC Clark's commercial this year! Check that off the bucket list...YAY!

Us singing the "BC Clark Jingle"...We all look very happy!

Tonight I think I will continue with some Christmas-y activities - I'll drink some cider, watch another Christmas movie, work on some Christmas gifts and cards, and maybe even wrap a few. I am so thankful for every little blessing I have this time of year, and chances are that if you're reading this, you're one of those "blessings". I hope you have a very Merry Christmas! Much love to you and yours!

Vivacious Colors on Veteran's Day

Wowza! A whole month since my last post? I will probably say that phrase often, because when I look back in my journal that I've written in for 3+ years, I often find that this is my beginning sentiment. Oh well...at least I try!

I have been wanting to find time to write SO BADLY ever since Fall Break. It was the most wonderful break from school that I have had in quite a while. I had a big to do list, as always, but God knew what I needed much more than what I thought I needed to accomplish. So, I did a whole bunch of nothing. I spent a lot of time outside, a lot of time sitting, and relaxing, and reading. And a lot of time just with my husband. He is such a wonderful, wonderful man, and I think to myself, at least every couple days, "How did I get so lucky? He is just so amazing and so good to me." Can you tell I'm really fond of him? :) He always seems to know just what I need to hear and each day we're together we just laugh and laugh. I love him!

We just celebrated our 2nd Anniversary this past weekend, with a Fall Festival, pictures, a lovely dinner out, an afternoon picnic at OU, and a nice dinner at home. Our Fall Festival was just what I had hoped it to be...a conglomeration of my favorite people, from my different walks of life, to share delicious food, beautiful weather, and good company. If you came to the party, and you are reading this, THANK YOU SO MUCH for attending! Your presence meant so much to me, and I am so glad to call you all my friends! I can't wait until next year now! We also had our wonderful friend, Loan Vu, take some regular pictures and some "trash the dress" pictures for us (along with the prop help of Francesca Hunt). Some may say I am silly, but we had such a great time and we have some beautiful pictures from the day too. Then we had dinner at my FAVORITE place, Melting Pot, and I was one happy lady. Our actual anniversary was not really very eventful, but it wasn't in a good way. We just did our favorite things, like sleeping in and going to Target together. We are old people, yes, but I like to think we are simple people sometimes too. And what I mean by that, is that though we love thinking about fancy dinners, fun concerts, and elaborate vacations, we also really enjoy the regular every day things, and we enjoy these the most. I am so glad that we have been able to spend so much time outside lately, though I wish I could be outside more. The colors are so incredible right now, and each day I think, "Ohhhhh...These trees are so beautiful!", and then I look around the next day, and the leaves seem to be even more amazing! I LOVE THE FALL!!! Did I mention that already?

Another thing about today, that I wish I would've spent more time thinking about, is our veterans. Some days more than others a I feel overwhelmed with gratitude for these men and women who have died protecting our freedom. My hope is that I can remember them in some way each day, and maybe this is part of the reason I love my job. Each day we get to help mold the minds of our future, and teach our kids about gratefulness, sacrifice, integrity, tolerance, and appreciation for what they have. I try more to take those teachable moments with them to read some stories from The Greatest Generation, say the Pledge of Allegiance with pride, answer questions about the Moment of Silence each day, or show a student how to treat others with respect. It's a tiny thing that I do compared to the lives that have been sacrificed, and the families who also must make sacrifices for us to live in a free country. I like this quote, and think it greatly expresses what I feel:

"Our debt to the heroic men and valiant women of our country can never be repaid. They have earned our undying gratitude. America will never forget their sacrifices." - President Harry S. Truman


I may not be portraying what I am really feeling, but I just want to say how thankful I am. We live in a wonderful country, and we are able to do that because veterans, past, present, and future, have given us the opportunity! We must remember this each day.

I must go now...More Parent Teacher Conferences in the morning. But at least I got in a jog/walk tonight (which I am super proud of myself), as we prepare for our first 5K on Sunday for the NHS PTA. It will be around core Norman, and I am getting both nervous and excited. At least I am seeing how people can actually enjoy running. It's more that I feel I need it, than like it. I hate getting there, but when it's all over, I feel so much better. Me, a jogger?!?! Maybe... 

To My Nenaw Re

Though I just posted last night, and this blog is not entitled with any "v" word, I felt the need to write, to pay tribute to my dear, sweet Grandma Re. Today marks the 5th Anniversary of her arrival in Heaven, but there are still so many of us here that love and miss her. She certainly makes Heaven a much sweeter place. She was such a warm and caring person, who gave so much to others on a daily basis. As a stay-at-home-mom, her job didn't look too important to many, just like many other 1940s/50s housewives, but she invested her life in people. Not in things or wealth or travels, but PEOPLE. She loved life, and definitely lived each day to the fullest. Her faith ran deep, and she led many to Christ, as well as continued to pray for many who did not find their way while she was still alive. For her 85 birthday, my Mom put together a scrapbook of letters written by all different people that she had touched through her life. I was in college, and busy, and selfish, and never wrote her that letter. A part of me still feels guilty about not telling her, but I had a dream once, where she was hugging me while I was crying, and she was saying, "It's okay, Kiley. I love you. It's okay." That helped with the guilt, but sometimes it still lingers. So this is my message to her that I never fully told her in real life, but I know she knows now:

My Sweet Grandma Re,

You have been one of the biggest influences in my life, and you have molded me into the woman I am today. You were such a beautiful person, inside and out. I love your giving spirit, and I try to emulate the heart that you had each day. You touched so many people's lives; you led so many to the Cross. I loved spending time with you and seeing your sweet smile, delighting in the simple things, whether it be ringing the bell at midnight in 2000, shoe shopping, having lunch with you daughters or granddaughters, or being with family at the holidays. Your life continues to reach others and I still feel like I learn from you as I grow older. The things I enjoy doing most, I believe you did too. I love New York City, ballroom dancing, the fall, root beer, the color green, baking/cooking for others, and making my house a home. The best compliment anyone could every give me is that I remind them of you. Your life was everything but ordinary, and you were the one who made it incredible. I love you very much, Grandma Re, and I miss you each day. I look forward to spending eternity with you in Heaven, and my hope is that I touch half as many people in my life that you did in your 86 years. You are treasure that we miss on Earth, but I rest in the peace knowing that I will see you again soon.

With all my love,
Your granddaughter
Kiley

When she dies 5 years ago, it was turning point for me, where I realized I was not becoming the person I wanted to be or was proud of, and in that year, I learned a lot about who I was and who I wanted to be, while remembering who Nenaw was and why so many people loved her and paid tribute to her in her death. Each day, I miss her in different ways, and often find myself asking "Wouldn't she like to see this? Or do this? Or cook this? Or talk to this sweet person?". When I step on her rug by my kitchen, use her gold clutch for a special occasion, that still has a Kleenex and a butterscotch candy in it, listen to Christmas records on her record player, or make a cake and use her old cake stand, I think of her. She used to be overwhelmed with the belief in the good of people sometimes that she would say, "Oh, just think of all the wonderful people in the world I will never get to meet! Isn't that sad?". What a simple purity she had, and now she is getting to meet many of those wonderful people she wanted to in Heaven.  I miss her dearly, but strive to be like her in my life. She was an amazing Grandma, and there will never be one like her again! I love you Nenaw Re!

Vehemence for Teaching and Fall!

I haven't posted in almost a month, which I have been meaning to do so each week since my last post. I had hoped to do this more frequently, because I have had a lot on my mind, but tonight I'll contain it to two areas: teaching and fall.

Teaching this third year has gotten SO MUCH better. I go to work everyday, not dreading any part of it, and am now excited to see the students. I can't believe what a difference this 3rd year has made...Before, I viewed teaching as a humbling experience only, and that it was showing me how imperfect I am. But, now I am seeing that through that humbling I have learned so much from others and so much about myself. I feel confident now when I start my day, and I enjoy the time I spend with my kiddos. They are all sweet and kind, and they do what I ask of them! It's AMAZING! I am so thankful to have them! When I left school Friday, I was just smiling because after two days of pure testing, the kids were all so excited to continue reading a book called Monster. It's written using journal entries and a screenplay, as if the 16-year-old boy on trial is actually writing it. The kids love it and so do I. It is our first glimpse into prejudice and tolerance, which I feel is the bigger picture that I get to teach through our English II class. We also get to read 12 Angry Men and To Kill a Mockingbird, and I have is watch "The Great Debators" and "Freedom Writer's". I am really loving what I teach and loving who I teach this year. And I've also seen the product of my hardwork in my students who are now Juniors or Seniors. They come back to visit and, get this, bring me GIFTS! Isn't that incredible? I feel like I am getting into being a better task-manager and liason between parents, kids, and teachers. More often than not, I leave the school thinking, "I love Norman High School, and I love teaching!" I am SO thankful, and so vested in teaching!

I am also LOVING LIFE because it is FALL! My porch is decorated with pumpkins and mums, my house full of fall decor and warm smells from my fall candles, and I have even seen a few leaves changing colors! I love this time of year so much, I can almost taste it. The weather is so gorgeous and the colors of the fall are the most beautiful. I know that I love fall, but I always forget how wonderful it really is, and we still have a month and a half left! YAY! I am excited to plan our 2nd Annual Fall Festival, as well as cooking many other fall inspired recipes and flavors. I am also reading the Harry Potter series, and it is making fall even more fun for me. I enjoy coming home, hanging with Lucy, and sitting on the porch reading. And this weather makes my new "venture", running, more bearable and actually kind of enjoyable. I have signed up to do the relay run for the OKC Memorial Marathon. My part is just a 5K, but I am pretty proud of myself for setting this as a goal, since I have NEVER run in my life EVER. I've always hated it, but hopefully I will learn to love it.

Well, even though this post is not as "deep" or "thoughtful" as past ones, I hope it can accurately tell what I am thinking about and going through right now! Thanks for reading, and I hope to post again very soon!

Veering, but still Valiant

Here I am, for my third blog, but not sure where to start. I guess I'll begin by explaining what the title of this blog means. The definition of "veering" is "to change direction; to turn; to shift", and I feel that I have been forced to do that lately, with some difficult realizations I have had in my life, which I will touch on in just a minute. But, I also think I will remain "valiant", or "courageous; brave", because of all of the wonderful things happening in my life. I used to think that life was either really bad or really good, but as I have grown older, I have found that though there can be many bad things happening in my life, there are always, and insurmountably so, many, many good things. So let's start there...

This past weekend I was able to check something off my bucket list, while also doing something that can help others. I was part of what's called a "flashmob". It's where an organized group of people start spontaneously dancing a choreographed routine in a public place. I was able to do this with about 200 other people with Norman High School in efforts to raise money and awareness for breast cancer. We danced to "Beat It" by Michael Jackson (like "Beat cancer!") on OU's campus before the game on Saturday. It was so incredibly fun, and it is something I will remember for the rest of my life! The look of surprise on people's faces was so great; I am so thankful to have been part of this opportunity! I had a great group of friends and my Mom come and watch the performance, and then we spent the rest of the day together, eating at our usual game day place, Hideaway Pizza, and watching the OU vs. FSU game at our house.

THIS is a big shout out to Kendal Hogan for planning an awesome event! Here's the link to the video, if you'd like to check it out:

http://okblitz.com/videos.aspx?cid=26356

We also did this on September 11, which was kind of another reason to do it. Even though I didn't sit and watch a TV special over it, and bawl like I have in years past, the day was full of opportunities that some might have not taken to be with those people that they love and do things that aren't ordinary and a little scary. It was a good day, but I won't ever forget how lucky I am to be an American, and have all of these "fun" opportunities, and those who have lost their lives preserving this for me and those around me. I had a great group of friends and my Mom come and watch the performance, and then we spent the rest of the day together, eating at our usual game day place, Hideaway Pizza, and watching the OU vs. FSU game at our house.

Another fun thing that I "accomplished" this week was that I finished reading Julie and Julia. I have had this book since about the time I saw the movie a year ago, and had been wanting to read it. And I loved it. The main premise of the book is that a 30-year-old, temp at a government agency in NYC after September 11 named Julie decided she needed a challenge and some meaning in her life, so she decided cook her way through Julia Child's Mastering the Art of French Cooking in a year and blog about it. This is where I very first got the notion of blogging, and I loved her wit that she used in her writing. I also loved it because it chronicles her journey in New York City, while also giving snippets of Julia Child's challenges in Paris, which are two of my very favorite cities. And most importantly it was about cooking. I have truly grown to enjoy cooking, and relishing in the "fruit of your own labor". It makes me happy to make others happy (mainly my husband) with good food. It was another "memoir"-ish book that I've read this summer, and I have found that I really enjoy these. We then bought the movie and watched it this afternoon. It is more interesting to read a book before watching the movie too, because then you know so much more back story. I'm not sure if I cried the first time I saw it, but I did tear up today, thinking of these two women who were lost in their own worlds, but essentially joined over time and space by cooking. It was good for their spirits when they needed joy, simple joy, and that's something I can take from this book, as well as Eat, Pray, Love: to find the joy in my life, and hold on to it for dear life. That's what I am trying to do right now.

The not-so-awesome part of my life right now has to do with someone I've known all my life, who I am now seeing in a different light that I've only heard about before, due to their lives most recent challenges. This is what the "veering" I was talking about earlier. It has caused me to have a shift in my way of thinking about my life. A big part of me wants to be mad for how they've acted towards me lately, but I also feel sad for them and for what their unknown future holds. I am not sure if this person will ever get over the struggles they are having, and it hurts that there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do is pray, pray, pray for them, and for healing in my own heart towards them.

I've always heard that God doesn't give us more than we can handle, and I am SO thankful for that. School is good overall, life with Chris is amazing as always, and I am surrounded by wonderful people in my life. These things make this not-so-awesome thing more bearable, for sure.

This is another fun thing that happened this weekend...Summer Breeze Concert and a mini-picnic with some of my favorite people.

So I must push on, and start another week. It will be a good one too, I am sure of it. Because look at all that I wrote about the wonderful things, and then there was little room to write about the bad things. I know now that life is not just about good or bad times, but a mixture of both that we can handle. God is amazing, and I am so thankful for all that my life holds right now, the difficult and the rewarding.